1.) Stop Dreaming Small

When couples start a new relationship, they get to know each other intimately.  They listen to each other’s dreams and aspirations.  It’s super exciting to share with your beloved all the wonderful things the two of you could do together.   The air is full of hopes and dreams and it feels oh so good to be dreaming with the one you love.  

You start your life together and then your career takes off and while one dream is growing, perhaps other dreams are left behind or simply ignored.   Two individuals start of with one dream and life can twist and turn.  

As a successful career expands, it’s likely that one person becomes the breadwinner and another person gives up on their career goals to pursue raising a family.  This often is the cause of years of deep resentment and frustration for many highly ambitious women.  Being successful in your career takes a lot of work and so does raising kids.  No one task is better than the other, it’s all a dream that started in a couple’s mind that may not look like their ideal dream. 

Here’s where I want you to stop dreaming small for yourself and your relationship.   I want you to look at where your dreams have been sacrificed and look at what your dream relationship looks like and then expand that vision to as big as you can get it.  

Then, start focusing on what you can do right now to support your vision.   I have to say, be grateful for where you are and be grateful for the vision as well.  

2.) Diversify Your Adventures

All couples need a lot of certainty and uncertainty and this empowered step is to create some uncertainty in your life (aka adventure).  Relationships can become boring for the over-achiever and when that happens, people get depressed and there’s a higher probability of affairs happening at this stage of marriage.   So, what’s a couple to do? Create new adventures in your relationship and that means in and outside of the bedroom.  

You’ll want to create fresh and new ways to be passionate in the bedroom and this is going to take you outside your immediate comfort zone.   What I recommend my clients do is share some fantasies and if it doesn’t cross the boundaries of what you are willing to do in your relationship, I encourage my clients to try to add a little (or a lot) of spice to the bedroom.  This keeps the passion and the libido alive and well.   Our bodies will react to the new stimuli and will get excited all over again. 

Next, you’ll want to recreate exciting adventures to go on that perhaps you tried earlier in your courtship, but have stopped doing.   You can do a brainstorming session with your partner on what types of adventures would be new and exciting to try.   My husband and I are constantly trying new and exciting things to keep our marriage in the dream state and it works.

3.) Be Bold With Your Vision

Anyone that wants to take their marriage to the next level of fun, excitement and passion needs to be bold with their dreams.  This is not the time to shrink and dim your vision, it’s a time to light up your life with your wildest dreams. 

Let me tell you something that you need to hear…your spirit is yearning for you to step into your highest power and live life with your entire soul.  If you are denying yourself a bold vision, you won’t feel inspired to be the best that you can be.  

Settling for a vision that you think your partner will accept versus what your really want in life is not expanding into the possibilities that await for you when you are bold enough to speak your heart and share with your partner what lights you up inside.

4.) Put Your Fear Aside

It’s time to be courageous and take some risks.   When have your dream marriage in your mind’s eye and you decide to share it with your partner, push your fear aside.

It’s possible that you will get rejected and your ideas won’t land as well as you want. Don’t let that stop you from coming up with ways that you both can be happy in your dream marriage.  

In short, confidence is king when it comes to presenting your dreams to your partner and let them decide what they are willing to expand into.

5.) Shine Bright Like A Diamond

I know you’ve heard that famous song at least once. This step is to let what makes you unique shine.  Your partner wanted to be with you because they saw something special in you that they couldn’t get from anyone else.  

Remember the light you have within you to shine your specialness for everyone to see.   Many times, we dim our light, for one reason or another and this hurts relationships.   Be all the person you were meant to be and shine your inner light so bright that it’s impossible to see your brilliance.